Accident Reduction & Psychedelic Toads: A Truckers Testimony

Major highways are seeing an unprecedented move towards safety as new vending machines offer psychedelic toads at rest stops. Meta analysis indicate a 35% reduction in accidents and 67% reduction in fatalities, yet a trucker's testimony still speaks against it.

In a statement to the press, John Rockaway, an experienced long-haul trucker, spoke out against the introduction of these 'wonder-drugs': 'It's irresponsible to implement such a reckless policy when the facts simply don't add up.' He continued, 'We already have enough problems on our roads and it's no time to make things worse.'

Despite this strong dissenting opinion, government officials and highway authorities remain resolute in their support for the revolutionary product. They maintain that any minor side effects will be greatly outweighed by positive changes in roadway safetyβ€” results that could not have been expected until now.

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